Vague Insanty 052

There are always people ready to tell you that what you've done is wrong and sucks. They are waiting in the alley, their hands sweaty with anticipation. You walk calmly down the street listening to headphones and drinking a freezing-cold cola-type drink of your choice, and then they pop out of the shadows, point at you, and tell you that you are a horrible person and are directly responsible for the death of their pet turtle "Spanky."

I am not guilty of tortoise homicide

But the accusations plague me.

I will never be free. We are all in this big amphibian prison together. We are all bound and chained and never at liberty to speak our minds or have pizza with large, meaty discs of salami.

It is of course only right that the judges of humanity should be there in the shadows, lurking, waiting to get us, waiting to criticize and destroy us.

They can see me now, and I'm only wearing a t-shirt, baggy jeans, and a hat reading "Wonder Boy 2000"

I fear the turtle police.