Vague Insanty 030

So imagine you're trying to fly this kite, and you sorta' need things to make this happen: wind, string, some level of manual dexterity, skill, and (in my case, more importantly) a kite.

But I ain't got no kite, motherfucker! Why the hell would I be packing some weird-ass kite and shit? Do I look like some 8 year old Japanese boy with a carp kite to you, bitch? Hell no! But then, yeah, if I'm going to fly this kite I need something vaguely kite shaped.

I look at a cardboard box for my refrigerator and attach some duct tape to it. But duct tape doesn't work as string and the refrigerator box is way too heavy for a box kite and I just look like a moron, holding on to a roll of duct tape and blowing out as hard as I can.

I don't have the tools to do complex things. I can't manipulate reality, even within the conventional laws of physics. The truth is I just suck ass at anything practical. And now people want me to do stuff that's good, and right, and I'm just some bastard with duct tape, a box, and no common sense.

This isn't fair.

I want to watch low-grade Belgian porn and go to bed now.