Vague Insanty 010

It's snowing again, and I'm pretty sure this isn't in my contract. I am completely unevolved to deal with snow. Like a small midget fighting a penguin for domain of the ice kingdom, I am mildly baffled by coldness. And come to think of it, I'd need all the help I could get if I was a small midget. Midgets are small enough as they come on average, but in order to be a small midget, I'd have to be pretty goddamned minute.

I think the problem with all of this is that I can't be butterfly man.

Butterfly Man would bounce through the air with giant colorful wings and not a care in the world. Other than maybe being killed in a jar filled with aresnic by some crazed collector of full mansized butterfly people. Also, I guess butterfly man would have a lot of trouble convincing anyone he was straight. And I don't want to be a homosexual butterfly man.

Not that I'm AGAINST homosexual butterfly people lifestyles or anything, but there are some things that work for you, and some things that don't, no matter how much lubricant you use. Like me and that weird russian toaster I bought at a garage sale, all it would do was blow all the fuses in my house.

I don't like foreign toasters, and butterfly mansex is also out of the question. Life is so full of limitations.

I wish I could fly. Without all the gayness.