Vague Insanty 009

So maybe achieving goals actually isn't worth a damned thing anyway. I'd like to believe that reaching my life long goal - making love to three beautiful women while painting a vivid landscape, drinking fresh coffee, and discovering the cure for cancer (even though the painting, the coffee, and the cancer cure were strictly optional extras) - would actually mean something.

But beyond severely disappointing three fellow human beings, painting something to sell on eBay, getting a caffeine buzz, and curing lots of people... what the hell would it all amount to?

Like, would it be moral and ethical to sleep with people who are probably only interested in me because I cured cancer? And would I actually care about that... well, no, screw that, stupid question.

What I guess I'm trying to drive at is that the goals are all fleeting and then they rest and hide away like dreams. And what good is that? I'm just going to end up achieving more in some sick and twisted cycle of good natured productivity OR, I'll sit around and never accomplish anything in life ever again, just live on - drunk, embitterred, sober, not painting and not getting laid.

I hear that accomplishment gives you a warm glow and a sense of selfworth, but I can get the same effect from a really warm and soft cookie. The problem is that after I eat the cookie and get ripped off paying $2.49 for the cookie, I feel nice for 3 minutes and then never ever think about it again.

But when you accomplish something, it just haunts you.

So, I'm thinking of stopping this whole accomplishment thing for awhile and just stick to the overpriced cookies.