Vague Insanty 006

Okay so you think you're a big man just because you've won the first annual giant radish growing competition. Sure, your radishes are so large that they scare cats, but what the hell are you going to do now? Those damn things are so big and freakish that no one is brave enough to eat them. And, last I heard, you used some weird monkey stem cells to make them juggle like that.

So take your huge giant mutant radish trophy home and try to have sex with it, but please, don't take pictures and post them on the internet. I get all my porn off the internet these days, I'm totally paperless and embracing myself as I embrace the 21st century, but if I find myself accidentally downloading your radish porn, I'll probably cry and be too mentally traumatized to jack off for weeks.

So keep the radish porn to yourself, unless of course there are lots of schoolgirls in it, or anime chicks, or cat ladies, or some kinky shit like that. Then I could probably just ignore the radishes and get on with things.

Actually, if you think this giant freaky mutant radish thing will work for picking up kinky chicks, please pass along the seeds. I need some radish lovin' and a small order of garlic bread.