Vague Insanty 003

If I had a nervous breakdown do you think they'd still let me fly a jumbo jet? Not that they let me fly a jumbo jet now, come to think of it. But I would love to try. I mean if I did well everyone would love me and say "Hey, you got us here, and we didn't die!" and if I failed, well that would be terrible, but the screaming would be kind of awesome.

Not that I want to hurt people, it's just i'm really good at unintentionally hurting people. I'm like a whiz at it. In my high school yearbook, I was voted "Most Likely To Unintentionally Hurt Society." It was really cool, and I only got it after accidentally lighting this firework wrong, and burning down the chemistry lab, but they could never prove it because all the evidence got burnt up in the fire... oh wow, that was one awesome day.

Still it was all unintentional, and so none of it came back to haunt me like bad stuff sometimes can, and then all of a sudden you feel all guilty and miserable and have to take those little orange pills. So I just never felt guilty, and I never felt depressed, and this really just aids my ability to hurt the fuck out of nice people and smile about it afterwards, cause I didn't mean to.

Did I mention I like banana ice cream? Oh yeah, and fucking your mom.