Vague Insanty 089

So let's say I could perform scientific experiments with impunity. Would I create the ultimate translation machine which would bridge the mental oceans between the creatures of our world - ensuring that humans, dolphins, chimps, and lemurs could all lounge around a swimming pool having nice chats about Caribbean holidays?

Or maybe I would devise a system that would use organically grown mushrooms to expand universal consciousness, fuel our cars, and solve the problem of world hunger.

Or, possibly, I'd blow the whole budget on pizza and devising a strange, disturbing looking sex toy that I would call Serene Alpha.

And then I would use my free time trying to improve my skating skills and eventually end up in a freakish accident that will leave me completely immobilized.

So you see, I really shouldn't get that research money.

Unless you really want that sex toy... and can find someway to explain why we developed that instead of teaching a damned gorilla sign language.