Vague Insanty 070

So let's say that I could energize my hay fever, to harness the power of pollen, to make my sneezes the most powerful propulsion system ever known to modern science.

Sure, I'd get to power interstellar space probes, I'd see the stars, the planets, I'd discover new galaxies and be completely banned from taking antihistamines - but what would be the point of it all?

In the blackness of space the odds of me meeting a cyber space-vixen with an awkward attraction to sneezing primate star drive engines is fairly low, if not impossible.

And if anyone on Earth thought I was awesome, amazing, and great to get to know at last, I'd be several light years away, and the lag on the telephone would be truly awful.

So instead, I would have to be proud, and happy, and thrilled by my amazing contribution to science, and humankind, and destiny.

When in reality I just wanted a coke, a smile, and a girl's telephone number - even if it was totally made up, and I just got a call center trying to sell me dental products when I finally had the courage to call the number three weeks later.

Did I mention I have a severe sinus headache?