Vague Insanty 061

You may not want to believe in monkey-holocaust. Maybe you're all holding out for that magical hero moment - when the cowboy with the bright shiny teeth and a fully loaded six-shooter wanders into town and takes out a posse of mean evil gorilla bandits.

But I don't believe in magical cowboys, riding out on the open plains, wearing ten gallon hats and being so secretive about their identities that even their horses wear masks. I just can't find the faith to think they are really coming for us when the shit hits the fan. After all, they really just move cows around and get them to the train stations. I don't think they necessarily signed up to save Western civilization with a gleam and a smile.

Instead, I will put my faith in this roast beef sandwich. It will sit here, and when the time comes, it will defend my sovereignty to the death.

And if not... I could just eat the son of a bitch.