Vague Insanty 079

The piper is playing his last few notes and I think, "WOW! How in the hell did this guy get a job as a piper in this day and age?!"

I'm not sure about where you live, but there aren't a hell of a lot of pipers, bards, paladins, or eleven warriors wandering the streets here – and when there ARE, those people usually get taken to the funny farm.

Ask me, and I think I should be knighted. I should be made a full knight of the empire of fun, and the children, and dogs, and inflatable fish toys should come to me and be thrilled by my antics.

I can entertain them all. And if those fuckers aren't totally entertained, and I mean if they don't have nervous breakdowns from the pure level of entertainment I offer their sorry asses, then I should legally be allowed to kill them for having unrealistic standards.

I think, most likely, I will not be knighted. No one will appreciate the gifts I offer them -- and they will take them back to the department store, and exchange my gifts for something they really want, like a new hair dryer.

Why do people want dry hair so badly?

I am moist. And I am proud.