Vague Insanty 063

Trying to wake up but I'm so damned lazy, trying to see my way home but it's so hazy. Waking up in the gutter on a Thursday morning, walking past winos and floozies trying to remember what pubs I was barred from and what places will have me back.

Can't go home, got no time, got to get to work and clock in before nine. Didn't vomit on my shirt and my shoes haven't been stolen, so I'm good to go. Rush to the break room drinking thick-ass coffee so they don't know. Think it's probable that they won't realize I'm hung over, they'll just think I'm American.

I walk into the office, and everyone's reading the news, bitching about the nanny state and the EU. I tell them all that I think we should nuke France, but they take me seriously and don't give a chance to explain as they scuttle to one side of the room in fear.

It's not that I plan to be the psycho American; I need to be armed to show my patriotism. Who needs to be British when you have a Stinger missile?

So they don't understand as I sit in my chair, claiming to be the new Jesus Christ with a severe headache and a lack of memories of how I told them to all go fuck themselves last night during the Summer Social Pub Outing.

Makes workin' hard.