Vague Insanty 046

The birds are extinct and small but they're coming to kill us all. And I shall embrace the feathers of death. I'm just waiting here, drinking a coke, and trying to remember a joke that's funny enough to tell the birds as they pick my eyeballs out.

I'm just loving every minute of avian apocalypse and I think that one day, after we're all dead, we'll have a great big laugh and a species family reunion, and then we'll have lots of sex and probably do smack, because we are extinct and therefore no longer have to vote on what the weather will be like tomorrow.

I hate penguins though. Penguins are the suits of the bird kingdom man. Those fuckers can't fly because they decided to walk, waddle, and shit. And I think that the birds are going to turn on those 3 foot tall waddling dudes and they won't survive the bird apocalypse either.

And so we'll be sitting there with the penguins, and the dodo, and the dinosaurs, being all cool in the extinct club, and T-Rex will be trying to mix up some beats on cheap ass record-spinning equipment and then the penguins will bring in the new digital mixers, and then there will be a NEW war of analogue versus digital, and the whole reunion will be screwed up.

Goddamn penguins.

I don't think I'm racist. But if one of those waddling, krill eating motherfuckers try to kiss me... then... yeah... okay... bird sex. I'm okay with that.