Vague Insanty 043

If I were homeless I think I'd try to become a ninja and use my mastery to create a new empire of the night. I would stumble through the streets drunkenly screaming and fashioning ninja stars from old pieces of cardboard and I'd make my cool ass ninja clothes from old Chinese newspapers. And then I would start to sing pop songs very loudly and be kicked to death by a twelve year old named Sammy.

I think alcoholic ninjas are cool. They are fast, but not very accurate. And accuracy is lame, there should be vast amounts of inaccuracy in all things and I sort of think that at the end of the day I'd like to move to Pluto and start to speak Spanish and jump around in slow motion and, I dunno, jump rope and smile and become the President of Iceland and then take over the entire planet whilst eating bananas.

I don't think I need help; I just need to deny all existence and then live in a tiny country cottage and speak to deer and accuse the squirrels of stealing my wife.

This is the beginning of the new Armageddon and I think I'd like to pay postage for this large, disgustingly heavy package now, please.